For more than two decades of existence, I never reached the point where I could say I strongly believe in a religion. My childhood was a mix practices of Roman Catholic (my mother) and Bahai Faith (my mother’s sister where I got my name).
Then in high school, I found out about difference religions because my friends were of different religions. Then sophomore year, I got exposed to Asian religion (Buddhism, Hinduism and Taoism among my favorites) and that class was the best class ever! I was amused by the diversity of beliefs and everything was interesting to me! There was a period that when I prayed, I address all the gods I know thanking them for how awesome life could get. And I’m not joking.
In college, I went to a Jesuit university where Christianity was part of the curriculum. At the same time, I was studying Bahai literature. Eventually, I stopped on my journey of understanding scriptures and incorporating beliefs. I just wasn’t interested anymore with all the things that doesn’t make sense especially in Christianity. But I do believe in a higher being.
When asked what was my religious view, I struggle a lot if I try to explain my custom belief that I believe in a higher being but I don’t know how to call it because I don’t worship Jesus, or Allah, or Buddha or any other icons. When I answer with this truth, I won’t be able to defend myself because I felt I just made it up and have no solid argument to present. When I answer Bahai Faith, I’ll be stormed with a lot of questions that I feel guilty that I cannot answer clearly. So I usually answer “On my registration papers, I’m a Roman Catholic.” End of discussion.
Like I said, my custom belief is that there is a higher being. Why do I believe in a higher being? I think the universe won’t exist without a creator that started it. And that’s it. The higher being created the beginning but whatever happens after that is up to mankind to decide. I don’t care what happens to me after I die but I do care what is happening when I am living.
Then just today, I discovered the word: deist. Who would’ve thought such term exists? I thought I was unique in that aspect then found out there were a lot more like me in history. lol. Well, I’m happy of my discovery. I feel enlightened and even confident that I’m not alone in my beliefs.
Thanks to this discovery I finally found a term for my religious view: I am a deist.